By Karen Genisot
Divorce has become pandemic. Hardly a person can be found that hasn’t been affected by it either directly or indirectly. Many marriages seem to have become more of a battleground than a place of harmony. Each year around the world there are millions of divorces and along with that are many crushed men, women, and children. The “no fault” divorce laws make divorce nearly as easy as marriage, and things don’t get any better for second marriages—60-75% of second marriages end in divorce.
Divorce has become pandemic. Hardly a person can be found that hasn’t been affected by it either directly or indirectly. Many marriages seem to have become more of a battleground than a place of harmony. Each year around the world there are millions of divorces and along with that are many crushed men, women, and children. The “no fault” divorce laws make divorce nearly as easy as marriage, and things don’t get any better for second marriages—60-75% of second marriages end in divorce.
With that
said, how do you decide whether divorce is the right decision for you? Is it ever too late to mend a broken
relationship? What if your spouse
doesn’t want to work on the relationship?
Can solutions be found for your marital problems? Would doing more of what works and less of
what doesn’t be enough? Can a marriage
survive infidelity? If one person makes
a change, can the relationship get better?
There are so many questions that go through a person’s mind when they
begin to contemplate whether to work on the marriage or file for divorce.
Decisions may become overwhelming and confusing, but you don’t have to make
this decision alone.
The decision
to get divorced or remain together and work things out is one of the most
important decisions a married person will ever make. It is crucial when considering divorce to
anticipate what lies ahead in order to make an informed decision. Many people
who have followed through with divorce have regretted not giving the marriage
one last try, not fully realizing the real and painful impact that divorce
would have on their life—finances, housing, in-law relationships, friendships,
hobbies, work, costly court and custody battles, etc. Not to mention the impact
divorce has on children. Many people who have gone through divorce would tell
you that divorce is no magical solution.
If you are
in the same boat as millions of Americans and contemplating divorce, here are
some things to consider: You CAN change
your marriage by changing yourself. You
can look for and break destructive patterns of interaction. You can stop trying to change your spouse and
take care of yourself. You can find ways
to improve your communication. You can
choose to look for the positives in your spouse instead of dwelling on the
negatives. You can choose to forgive and heal from past hurts. You can seek out resources to assist you in
exploring marriage and divorce.
Not all
marriages can be saved, but what if yours could? Now is an opportunity to
create the relationship you’ve wanted with your spouse, and your Employee
Assistance Program can help. We have counselors all over Central Wisconsin and
the Fox Valley who are trained in marriage and couples counseling, and can help
you get your marriage back on track. EAP services are free to you and your
immediate family members, and always confidential. Call today to talk to a
counselor near you.
Here’s to a
long and happy marriage!
Parts Taken
from “Divorce Busting” by Michele Weiner-Davis
